Why Indian Marriages Fail
Why Indian Marriages Fail?
Are you curious to know Why Indian Marriages Fail? On 31 May 2020, Indian cricket Hardik Pandya marries a Serbian model Natasha. There is no hindrance in their marriage, neither on nationality, culture, or religion. This marriage is so perfect that Hardik Pandya’s wife Natasha starts a series on YouTube whose name is Pitch Perfect Fairy Tale Love Story. Everything was going pitch perfect, his son had turned 4 years old, and Hardik Pandya himself recently won the cricket World Cup. But exactly 4 years after marriage in July 2024, Hardik Pandya uploaded a post on Instagram in which he announced his divorce from Natasha.
This may be a high-profile case, but divorces have become so common in India that many of you people may know someone who recently got divorced. Shikhar Dhawan & Aisha Mukherjee, Kusha Kapila & Zorawar Singh, Hrithik Roshan & Suzen Khan, and Nawazudin Siddique & Alia Siddique, Yuzi Chahal and Dhanashree Verma are some famous divorce cases that are known to the whole country but there are so many divorce cases that never come in front of people.
Divorce is not a disease of rich people but it has become a sad reality in India too. And this is a matter of the previous generation, the condition of the coming generation will be worse than this. By the way, if we compare India with all other countries then the divorce rate is the lowest. The divorce rate in Portugal is 94%, Whereas in India it is only 1.1%. India’s divorce rate has been increasing rapidly in recent years. And if you think that divorce happens only in arranged marriages then you are completely wrong. According to a report by The Sunday Guardian, 50% of divorces are in love marriages.
The shocking thing is that divorces do not happen after 1-2 years of marriage, but even after 3-4 years or more. In fact, many people have children and then get divorced. Many people feel after 20-25 years that they are not compatible with each other which then leads to divorce. But in a country like India where marriage is considered so sacred, why do we get so many divorces?
Some people will say that because of Women Empowerment, the wife does not have to be financially dependent on her husband. She makes her own decisions and as if she considered it taboo earlier but can now think of getting a divorce with an unhappy and unsatisfied married life which is true to a great extent. This is just one side of the whole story. While in the whole world mostly women initiate divorce, India is the only country where mostly men initiate it. So this whole story is not simple, it is very complex.
3 Big Reasons Why Indian Marriages Fail?
There are three big reasons behind the increase in the divorce rate in India, of which most people are not aware. And today I am going to discuss those three reasons in this article.
1 Availability of options
The first reason why Indian marriages fail is the availability of options. Now whether you are married or not, everyone knows about the seven rounds (Saat Phere or Saat Fere in Hindi). Husband and wife promise each other in the second of seven rounds. In the second of the seven rounds, the husband and wife promise each other that they will stand by each other in good and bad times, but perhaps in today’s time, these promises are only limited to the marriage mandap. These days, people are divorcing others over small fights and inconveniences.
The reason behind this is the availability of options. No relationship is perfect, there are some problems in every relationship, but without solving those problems, people think that they will go into a new relationship. Their mentality behind this is very clear that when I have so many options, why should I waste so much time and energy on just one relationship? If you check the statistics, you will find that as the number of dating apps increases, the number of divorce rates also increases.
In dating apps, you can choose people according to your preferred religion, height, and skin color, so people feel that instead of wasting their time in one relationship, they will find a new partner just by swiping left or right. In the earlier times, there were no options available so people were putting effort in their relationship by making adjustments or compromises to make the relationship long-lasting. But today everyone knows that they will definitely find someone on dating apps. I know you guys might be wondering what these dating apps have to do with divorce. But dating apps aren’t just for singles anymore.
But if you look at the statistics on dating apps, more than 12% are already in a relationship, and more than 30% are married. They are unhappy and dissatisfied with their marriage and are therefore looking for a new partner on dating apps.
And for marriage, there are different websites like shaadi.com or jeevansathi.com where people go especially to find their marriage partners. After that many websites have also been created for second marriage like secondshaadi.com. Then if we compare it with before, people are interacting with others much more than before. A lot of people go to offices and events due to which interaction has increased. All this did not happen so much in earlier times.
2 Choosing the Wrong Partner
The second point why Indian marriages fail is choosing the wrong partner. Before the internet, marriages took place through a middleman, who was also responsible for the background of the boy and the girl. So the marriage was based on mutual trust. But nowadays people are not getting married just because they love the person but they are doing it because they have a fear of missing out (FOMO) that they are 30 years old and not married yet. To find a partner, people either go to websites like shaadi.com, etc., or telegram groups where you cannot trust anyone easily.
Meaning, that earlier marriages used to happen mutually but now they are happening through websites. The person you are marrying maybe 1 km away or even 100 km away. He or she may be in India may be abroad or may be from anywhere.
On top of that, social media influencers also show only the positive side of the relationship which gets them views. However, those people do not show the negative sides and compromises of the relationship. So people who look at influencers create a false image in their mind about relationships. And when the expectations do not match the reality then they become quite disappointed. For example – when a wife sees that her favorite influencer was bringing a gift from Italy for his wife but his husband is doing nothing for her except working in his job, then they become disappointed as she compares herself with other couples. In reality, what people call love is actually just attraction.
Instead of understanding the other person, she fulfills her own fantasies by seeing influencers on social media. As soon as they develop a little feeling, they feel that he is the one or she is the one. People get married due to this false feeling. But when you have to live with that person 24/7, you see the negative sides of that human being. Then people think this guy is toxic and after that, they file a divorce.
And anyway, try as much as you want, the nature of a person will never change. Often the nature of people is not known before marriage and when it is found out, they start filing divorce. Then they understand that there is a huge difference between expectation and reality. And then in India, there is pressure to get married, both from society and from parents, people are forced to marry. Being single at the age of 27-28 is a sin in India. Friends, family, relatives, and everyone else pressure you to get married when you are 30 years old.
In fact, single people are not even allowed to rent rooms in tier-2 cities and Because of this, they get married too soon. After marriage, they realize that we are not compatible at all and therefore they file a divorce
3 Westernization of Thoughts
The third point why Indian marriages fail is the Westernization of thoughts. Marriage has always been considered a sacred thing in Indian culture but today’s scenario is quite different. Open relationships have become quite common in India. An open relationship means that you are emotionally connected to one person but have physical relations with multiple partners. This is purely a Western idea but it is slowly coming to India also. And a lot of acceptance is also being given in tier-one cities. People get bored of each other very quickly and then they look for new sources of entertainment. They feel that multiple partners will fill their relationship with excitement and that is why people come into open relationships.
This idea belongs to the West but we are living in India so we are not able to accept this thing completely. This leads to trauma. Small arguments become big and ultimately lead to divorce i.e. Why Indian Marriages Fail.
In India, Bollywood is promoting this culture completely. Recently a movie came out called Bad News in which multiple physical partners were shown not in a negative way but in a positive way. This thing is being shown in many movies and web series due to which India’s youth is getting influenced. Gradually this thing is also coming into our Indian culture. This thing has penetrated well into Western society, you can see its results. The divorce rate in the USA has reached 50% and seeing them, India is also leaving its roots and moving towards western ideology. So don’t go like the West, our Indian culture is the best.
This was the conclusion on the topic – Why Indian Marriages Fail?
Although there can be some personal reasons including family issues or anything else. These are the main 3 reasons behind Divorces in India.
